Well, well, well. Summer is here and so is the rising pressure gauge of my sanity.
The conundrum: living by the beach in summer is simultaneously my most favorite thing, yet also a direct and unavoidable theater of society’s worst attributes when everything gets sent to shit during vacation mode. I will not exhaust my complaints here, as I already succumbed to doing so in my last post.
However! Today is a new day. The surrounding chaos continues, yet today I am blowing a little bubble to encompass my own tiny world within it. So I can enjoy my own life, dammit. The world out there does not appear to be changing. But in here, within my buoyant bubble floating along in the void, I am making a home.
I do this in a few tried & true ways: (this probably is not relevant to you, but maybe it is, in some iteration, if you also happen to be experiencing similar feelings of societal dread):
zoom in on my body. it needs/loves: rest. movement. water, probably. fresh air and natural light. healthy food. also not-as-healthy, but definitely tasty and delicious food. what can I do in this moment to have a meaningful relationship with this biological system I experience literally everything through?
clean something (or many things). if it’s absolute disorder out there, it feels extra good to be orderly in here.
remember the void. basically, thinking about anything beyond people-narrative-things helps me remember that much of life is not actually about people-narrative-things. physics, math, dreams, spooky things, cute bugs (like moths and beetles), sparkles on the ocean, artisan cheese, etc, basically this list is infinite and it feels nice to remember that.
make a home in the void. I mean I guess everything above is an act of making a home in the void, but I like to do this most through art. making art is some sort of transportation to another dimension or something, while also still being connected to my own life as it’s happening. for some reason, against my own conscious will, chonky rain frogs consistently make me feel right at home no matter what’s currently imploding in the external-social world. so I make frogs literally all the time. I wouldn’t call it compulsive, but it definitely helps me not mentally unravel into nothingness on a daily basis. today I’m making this one:
wow! so mentally held together!
Usually, when I write posts like these, I try to wrap it up with something conclusive, hopeful, definitive in a way that has potential benefit/relevance to others. Lately, I’ve got none of that. But I do have a new frog painting in front of me. That’s enough for today. In fact, in my home here in the void, I am actually quite pleased.
this is a log of art & introvert life
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my art & other projects: www.jasminecherry.com/art
Fantastic reminders - thank you! I love "Lemonade Stand" 🐸🍋
i would argue that the way you are content at the end of the essay is a conclusion! to be calm despite the roaring storm outside teaches us hope!